MY DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL, SPIRITUAL AWAKENING, AND HOW I BECAME A CHANNEL
We Are Ascending was born out of a wild experience and my want to share the tools that experience has brought me. So here I go, telling you about that wild experience and where it led me.
I was depressed. Every bit of news I consumed on a daily basis made me feel fear, guilt, and anxiety, but most of all I felt sad. I was saddened by the way I saw institutions, countries, corporations, churches, and individuals treating one another. Then, I was hit by a car. My leg was swiped by a car that didn’t stop as I was crossing the road near my house and I was tossed up into the air before I came down right on my head. After that accident, everything felt different. I was still depressed, but I was depressed because my priorities had changed and they weren’t aligned with how I was living my life. I had a 9 to 5 job in advertising, but I never felt fulfilled by that work. I was making a good living, but that money didn’t make me happy. I suddenly couldn’t get myself to put energy into that job anymore. I wanted to do something that “made a difference,” but I had no idea what that was.
This went on for a while, and I now see that this period of my life was my Dark Night of the Soul and that I was going through a spiritual awakening, but at the time I had never heard of those terms. After secluding for a while, throwing myself into research on new interests, and leaving my job, I started to notice my health was deteriorating, which I thought was due to ill effects of the concussion. I went to doctors, changed my diet, and became obsessive about supplementation. Finally, when I was at my wits’ end, I went to a local metaphysical shop for a reading. At the end of the reading, the woman told me I should see a particular Shaman for a “Soul Retrieval Session.” I didn’t think much about it, but I shoved the piece of paper she had written the Shaman’s name on in my wallet before placing my wallet in my bag. About a month later, I had a dream that I was in a doctor’s office, and the doctor walked in and said, “It’s your Thyroid.” When I woke up, I remembered the dream, then quickly forgot it.
Later, someone mentioned the word Thyroid, and I remembered the dream. I immediately made a note in my phone to look it up when I got home. I didn’t know much about what your thyroid is intended to do, so when I got home, I did some research. I set up an appointment with a doctor who specializes in thyroid disorders and waited a week until I was able to see him. When I arrived, he looked through my file and asked if I had been diagnosed with a condition, to which I replied no. He said he was shocked that his receptionist gave me an appointment considering I had not yet been diagnosed with a thyroid condition. I didn’t tell him she was reticent to do so until I told her about my dream, after which she paused, then said she would set up time for me to see the doctor.
He did an ultrasound, ran some bloodwork, and told me that I had a nodule on my thyroid but not to worry and that the bloodwork would tell us more. A week later he called to tell me I had a Thyroid auto-immune condition and gave me a prescription I was meant to take for the rest of my life. He was shocked when I told him I wasn’t going to take it and urged me to come back into the office. I did all the research I could about this condition and added a number of new supplements to my obsessive regime in a bid to fight it off naturally. About a month later, I was exhausted and I knew I had so much work I was supposed to be doing, but I was just so tired. I decided to watch a documentary while lying in bed because I wanted to rest, but also wanted to feel somewhat productive. I stumbled on a documentary called ‘Heal’ and started watching it.
There was a woman featured in this documentary who was a doctor who had been diagnosed with the same thyroid auto-immune condition I had been diagnosed with. She said she knew from her medical training that this was supposed to be a lifelong condition, but she just couldn’t accept that for herself, so she started to dabble in arenas she had never considered remotely useful or even based in reality. The kicker was, this woman looked almost exactly like me. I was floored. I started crying without explanation. She looked like me, and we had the same condition, but that didn’t adequately explain to me why I was suddenly weeping. Regardless, I felt like I was meant to watch this documentary at that exact time, so I continued on with singular focus.
Later in the documentary, there was a woman who researched spontaneous remissions in patients with non-treatable, late-stage cancer. She said there were ninety-something different things that these cancer survivors said they had done, but every single one of them had 9 things in common. She listed these 9 things, and I will list them here as well.
Radically changed their diet.
Took control over their path to health.
Followed and trusted their intuition.
Used herb and supplements.
Released suppressed emotions.
Increased positive emotions.
Embraced social support.
Deepened their spiritual connection.
Compiled strong reasons for living.
After she listed each of these things, she gave a number of different examples of what the cancer survivors did that fit into each category. When she was describing the examples for “Deepened their spiritual connection,” she listed Shamanic Soul Retrieval, and I suddenly remembered that piece of paper in my wallet that listed the Shaman I was told to go see for a Soul Retrieval session. That piece of paper in my wallet was all I could think of. I paused the documentary and fished it out. I called the number on the paper until I got her voicemail. I hung up the phone and turned the documentary back on.
The idea of booking a Soul Retrieval session with that Shaman crossed my mind many times over the next few days, but the thought wasn’t urgent enough to drive me to call her again, so the piece of paper in my wallet stayed snuggly tucked away. About a week later, I overheard someone talking about a Shaman. I started to listen more closely, then they said the words “soul retrieval ceremony.” I just about leapt out of my seat and ran outside. I rummaged through my purse for my wallet and ripped out the piece of paper. I called and this time she picked up. I suddenly felt nervous. She asked me what kind of session I was looking to book and I paused, so she asked if I was looking for psycho-therapy, and I said yes. I went to see her for a standard psycho-therapy session, and when we were done she said, “I usually don’t bring this up with my psycho-therapy clients, but you said something to me that really stuck out and I am feeling like I’m meant to say this to you. I am a Shaman also, and I think a Soul Retrieval session could be beneficial for you.” I withheld the story I just told you, and simply said I would love that. She told me to call when I was ready.
I got caught up with my health woes, and it took me a few weeks to set up the session. When I finally got there, I didn’t know what to expect. She told me to lay down and remember anything I see, but also to relax and breath calmly as I listen to the beat of the drum. I saw a number of things. They were clear as day and I remembered them easily after the session ended. She gave me a piece of paper to write down anything I saw as she did the same facing the other direction. She then started to explain to me what she saw. She expressed to me that she found three pieces of my soul that had separated during times of trauma, and she laid out the traumas that caused them to separate. As I listened to her tell the story of these traumas, I knew she was accessing some higher collective consciousness because she described them exactly as they had happened, one of which I had never told anyone about prior. Many of the animals and images she described were identical to what I had seen during the session.
Just as we were wrapping up, she sat down and placed her hand on mine and said, “You will always be depressed if you don’t learn how to embrace your ability to walk between the worlds.” This sounds like an odd statement to make, but I knew exactly what she meant, and she was right. Ever since I was a child, I could perceive things around me that were not noticeable to everyone else. My mother could too, and it scared her. It scared me too, so when I told her about it, she assured me that she could as well and that it would be fine, but I could tell it freaked her out. I was so fearful of what I know now were my natural clairvoyant abilities that throughout my teen years I started to suppress them and wish them away.
Eventually it worked, and I didn’t exhibit the same clairvoyant abilities I used to, but I could still feel all that was around me. My empathic abilities never left me, but I didn’t know when I was feeling something or when I was picking it up from somewhere or someone else.
I knew that she was right when she told me I needed to learn to embrace my ability to walk between the worlds because I had a flood of clairvoyant and claircognizant abilities flood me after I had been hit by that car, and I was again trying to suppress those abilities. As I started to take classes, get readings, embrace energy healing, and started journaling, I realized she was right for so many other reasons as well. I had always felt so angry with the world because of the inequity, pain, violence, wars, hate, and apathy, but as I started to “walk between the worlds” I realized there is so much more to our lives than what we experience here on the surface of this magnificent being we call Earth, and that helped me to start releasing that anger. I never imagined all the ways opening up to my abilities would help me heal.
As I mentioned, I started to take a bunch of classes, healing sessions, and readings, and these experiences led me to a channeling class. I was led to this channeling class when I didn’t even know what channeling was. I googled it a week before my first class after already signing up for the class because I had been led to it by many people I felt inspired by in a way that seemed synchronistic to me. I started to take this class, and about six months in, my teacher introduced the idea of asking our “unseen friends” as she calls them, to show us something that is mysterious and entirely unknown to us. The first thing that popped into my head, although I hadn’t been thinking of it and wasn’t quite sure why, was to ask them what happened while I was unconscious after I was hit by that car. I had often said, “My life completely changed after that accident,” but I couldn’t put my finger on why.
I asked my “unseen friends” what happened during that brief time, and what came next changed my life forever for the second time. For the first time, my “unseen friends” showed me something instead of telling me. I saw myself separate from my body as I laid on the street. I knew somehow that I had decided to leave my body. I knew somehow that there had been a number of different “exit points” set up in my life during which I would have been able to leave if I decided I needed to. This decision was one that my higher-self would make based on the energy I was feeling and feeding to my higher-self as I lived my life here on this planet. In that moment, my higher-self decided to take that opportunity to leave this life based on the energy I was creating, feeling, and enduring as a spirit within this human body. When I left my body, I felt amazing. I felt loved and supported. I felt at one with all things and totally at peace with myself and all of the worlds that come together to make all that is. As I felt this, I was elated to not be tied to that human body any longer, then suddenly, I found myself in front of two beings.
I wasn’t in front of two bodies, or even two forms, but I’m not sure how else to describe what I felt other than two beings. I was in front of two massive pieces of energy, and they were all loving, all-knowing, and were completely connected to all other energy in existence. I knew as I rested before these massive energy beings that I had missed my mark while I was on Earth living the life I had just left, but I felt no judgement from them. I knew they were showing me their energy, their love, and their support to let me see the truth of all that is so I could decide if I wanted to leave the life I had just exited or go back and continue where I left off on my journey of learning and expression.
I didn’t exactly want to go back because I felt so euphoric “on the other side,” but I knew I was meant to go back and that everything would be different when I did. I was then thrust back into my body and took the energetic mark of that experience with me but left behind the mental memory of it. This explained why I had always felt so changed after I had been hit by that car but didn’t know why. Now that I had recovered the mental memory of this experience to complement the energetic memory I had brought back from it initially, I again felt forever changed.
As my “unseen friends” showed me this, I cried. I was crying tears of joy and astonishment at the love I was taking in. Channeling came naturally to me, and after this experience I started to really trust my abilities because I felt I had truly experienced the totality of consciousness and knew how very much there is outside of us, but also that we are connected to all consciousness therefore it is also a part of us. I knew we were all connected, and I knew this experience we are having in these bodies on this planet is about learning, growing, experiencing, and most of all, loving. Not in the romantic, familial, or emotional way, but in the connected to all things at all times kind of way.
Over time as I continued channeling, the guides I was channeling who now tell me to refer to them when discussing them with other as, “The Ascension Guides of those who call upon us,” started to ask me if I would channel for others. I was resistant to the idea, then people started asking me to channel for them, and so I said yes. I started channeling for friends and family, then some acquaintances and strangers, and now I see that it is one of my callings. I have two callings in life, and channeling “The Ascension Guides” and the higher-selves of others for those who wish to connect to loving energy and guidance to help them on their path is most definitely one of my callings.
This is how We Are Ascending came to be, and why I feel driven to do channeled readings, channel ebooks and meditations, and share with others tools and rituals that have helped me embrace my connection to spirit in my own life as the human I am. It is not always easy going through a dark night of the soul, growing, healing, and accepting your own extrasensory perceptions, but I know how fulfilling and freeing it is to wade between the worlds and I embrace being a part of anyone’s journey in a way that if for their greatest and highest good.
Thank you, I love you, and so it is.
P.S. A couple of months after my “unseen friends” showed me where I went and what happened while I was unconscious after that car hit me, I got bloodwork back that confirmed I no longer had that thyroid auto-immune disorder that was supposed to be a lifelong issue. I truly believe the pieces of me that needed healing had healed, and those issues were no longer needed to put me on the path I was meant to take.