Updated: Jun 17
This one has been a long time coming on my healing journey, I’m embracing sobriety. I grew up in a place where drinking, partying, and food WAS the culture. It wasn’t just a part of the culture; it was the culture. Ever heard of the Bills Mafia? The Buffalo Bills fans that go to every NFL Bill’s game, start drinking hours before the game starts, and jump off of RV’s to pile drive each other through plastic folding tables? Well, I grew up less than a mile from where all of that started and continues to this day. I took my first foray into drinking when I was about 10 years old by dipping into the bar at my friend’s house and had my first experience with drugs at 12. All throughout my adolescence I was experimenting with substances and, to me, it seemed totally acceptable. I knew my parents wouldn’t approve if they knew, but everyone else around me was doing it too, so it didn’t seem to be out of step with how one grows into themselves as they approach adulthood.
Throughout the years, I have been learning a lot about myself, accepting myself in ways I never thought I would, and allowing myself to heal those pieces of myself I previously did not want to look at, but I have also always held on to a bit of that partying culture I grew up with. When a bunch of friends get together to hang out, drinking is usually on the menu. When I hang out with my family, we share some cocktails and loud music, but when I indulge, my past always finds a way of catching up with me. When the party starts, I never want it to stop. I’ve never had a hard time going days, weeks, or even months without indulging, but when I do, I always have a hard time letting the music stop. This has been a theme throughout my life and I am now finding myself ready to face this theme head on.
Themes are sign pointing you in the direction of what you came into this life ready to take on. Your challenges, circumstances, culture, choices, and difficulties can point you toward your themes, and once you identify the themes that keep popping up at every turn, you can find the lessons you came into this life wanting to master. Whenever I have identified a theme in my life and dug into how my family, culture, the challenges I've faced, and the circumstances of my life all set the stage for me to experience and face the difficulties that kept reappearing with regard to this theme, it helped me to let go of some of the guilt and anger that had built up over years of dealing with the same issues over and over.
Identifying these themes and understanding the challenges that led me to engage in this healing practice opened me up to the idea that difficult situations can show me a part of myself and allow me to make the decision to accept that piece of myself, forgive myself and anyone else I may have placed blame on for the difficult circumstances I faced, and allow myself to move in a different direction by changing my beliefs and the choices I make when I am presented with challenges related to that theme again. I’ve faced many themes in my life and I feel happier, healthier, more loving, and less judgmental of others who may be facing the same or differing themes themselves, and now I am ready to face another lifelong theme.
I am ready to enjoy friends, family, gatherings, holidays, events, celebrations, and all of life’s experiences without the need to indulge in substances that are not helping me continue to connect with my soul more deeply. I don’t need substances to have a good time, I know that from experience, and allowing myself to release that ingrained part of me that instinctually reaches for a drink when there is something to be celebrated with those I’ve shared my formative years with, opens up a part of me that has always wanted to enter those situations with a clear mind and open heart.
This is a theme I am ready to face in this phase of my life, and I sure many more will continue to arise in the future as I continue to clear the brush from the path I create as I journey back into full connection with my soul in all that I do, and I’m sure there are themes that you are ready to face yourself, so I am sharing my method for identifying your themes and facing them head on. These writing exercises, meditations, and intention setting rituals have helped me to break a lot of patterns, learn many lessons, and move into a more soul aligned version of myself many times before, and I will continue to use these tools as I face more themes throughout my life. I invite you to join me and see what themes you are ready to shed too.